Where do the boats go?
by Allen.Nara
Summary: P4. Yosuke wakes up with a strange feeling that day. A precious memory and a fortelling dream will help someone breach through his wall. "I think you will find the answer one day, Yosuke". Souji/Yosuke, shonen-ai.


_Hi! This is Alen speaking._

_It's been years since I last wrote something for real. Gotta admit Trigun tempted me and made me think of lots, lots of possible stories, but it was Persona 4 in the end that managed to make me seriously write again (at least this one-shot, anyway). Yup, I'm one of those new fans of P4. I loved the anime, a friend gave me the game as a present after I had been dying to play with it, and it's been a hell of a great summer for me because of it. I like the anime, but as many do (I guess), I largely prefer the original videogame for various reasons. And from totally adoring just Naoto, I fell in love with Souji and Yosuke, especially, as well. There's so much more about their charas in the game... and in the anime series they are a little too different (especially Souji)._

_Anyway, enough fangirling :D I love this couple, and I shall hope to write more of them again. Here's a strange one-shot for Souji and Yosuke. **Shonen-ai**, beware. Don't like, don't read. Also, I hope there aren't too many mistakes. I apologize in advance :/_

_Now sit back, and enjoy the fanfiction :)_

_#A._

* * *

**PERSONA 4**

_**Where do the boats go?**_

_Disclaimer: you know I wish I owned them, you know I do. But I don't. Persona 4 belongs to ATLUS and all the great people that managed to make Tekken my second favorite videogame LOL_

* * *

Yosuke woke up slower than usual that day.

He opened his eyes calmly, moved lightly out of bed, and started his day after more or less six hours of half sleep. It was quite strange if compared to his usual nine straight hours of slumber.

The auburn haired male did feel a little off, but didn't think much about it. Instead, he washed his face and dressed and did all the morning things a normal person did, without putting much effort into it, just going on an automatic spree. He could not bring himself to think about anything. Not in that moment, and not even after, while he moved stuff and talked with costumers at Junes. In truth, Yosuke's brain was restless with thoughts, going one after the other at the speed of light, leaving him with nothing to grasp. They were fleeting, and it left him reaching out to nothing but clouds of cigarette-like smoke.

All that pointless going round and round in his head made him feel almost numb. The things he touched, the words he said- Yosuke didn't feel much of those. It was as if he were on the other side of a glass door, watching with distant eyes his life going on its normal, usual course.

Once break time arrived, he went outside to breath a little fresh air. The auburn head closed his eyes, his breath so calm he could be still sleeping. There was nothing calm inside of him, unlike his exterior suggested. It was like anxiety was pulling at him slowly but steady from the inside, but Yosuke couldn't perceive it, like one couldn't perceive pain under the effect of drugs.

It was raining outside, and small, soave drops of warm water kissed his face with a depthless love.

Suddenly, a memory surfaced between the endless, smoky thoughts.

He could see a face, but just from nose to chin, and an elegant neck followed by the upper part of a white, soft shirt. His dream was particularly focused on the person's lips. They were moving, but he couldn't hear a word. Those lips were of a delicate pink, and they slightly smiled, fondly. Even though he couldn't perceive their words, Yosuke could feel the warmth and comfort they brought to him, together with the person's presence. It was a strange sensation. He felt filled with longing and affection for that person, and just being like that made him feel… fulfilled. Yet nostalgic.

He had dreamt it once, only once, a long time before. It was right before his best friend transferred into the same town he moved into six months prior. Souji Seta.

* * *

Once Yosuke was done with work, he went straight back home. The rain stopped, but he could still smell its fresh, exotic fragrance coming off the ground and the trees. For once, he had decided to walk instead of using his bicycle.

He passed by the Samegawa river, and stopped there for a moment to admire the water and the sun reflecting on it, colouring it with orange and pink.

As the auburn haired boy stared at it with an unreadable expression, his eyes glassy and only half focused, he could hear a familiar voice in the distance of his memory.

'Where do the boats go?'

* * *

Sprawled on the bed, Yosuke started feeling restless. Not just mentally like he had been all day. It extended to his body now. Yet, when he tried to focus his mind and think about something to do, anything to do, his body felt sore and his limbs heavy.

Half annoyed and anxious, the auburn head decided to grasp his situation better. What was this feeling he had had all day long, since he woke up?

He… he felt like he were in another world. Extraterrestrial, yet somehow still earthy, and known. He wasn't really _there_, and couldn't feel things first hand with his senses. It was like…

'… A bubble. I'm inside a bubble. I can't say if I like it or not. I can't get out of it. But I don't panic. Does that mean I'm… okay with it? Was it me, creating it and…?'

Thinking about it made him sleepy, yet more anxious. Yosuke could feel a headache coming.

The auburn haired boy knew the answer. He probably had been thinking too much- meaning, he needed to stop that.

He felt his arm moving on its own. A lightly tanned hand grabbed an orange cellphone, pressed a single button, and got the object closer to his ear.

"Yosuke?"

For a few seconds, Yosuke said nothing. Did he call Souji just now? Why did he do that? What… what was going on? …wait, was there _really_ something going on?

His brain went asfsgsdgf. His body didn't.

"Yup, it's me. I felt like calling you. Are you doing anything tonight? I could use some company"

He could picture Souji's eyebrows disappearing further under his fringe, although they were impossible to see most of the time anyway.

A direct, straightforward Yosuke was a strange Yosuke. A something-is-not-right-please-help-me Yosuke. His voice was way too plain, void of emotion too.

"I… mh"

Souji was thinking. Was he busy? Was he tired?

"Okay. Can you come over?"

The smallest of smiles pulled at the auburn haired male's lips.

"Yeah. See ya in a few mins, partner"

* * *

The most silent battle at videogames ensued once Yosuke arrived at Souji's. The grey head had always been one for few words, yet he was unnaturally silent. Yosuke felt his clear eyes studying him, but not as intensely as they would when noticing something with his best friend was off. Yosuke couldn't bring himself to think more about it. He felt something was not exactly right with Souji, but he himself was definitely weird that day, so who was he to snoop?

The auburn head played on an automatic spree, just as automatic as anything else he'd done that day. Yet, when he won for the umpteenth time and he saw Souji touch his brow and close his eyes, he decided it was time to speak up.

"You alright, partner?"

"I… yeah… sorry… it's just…"

His best friend's breath was kind of worked up, and his face was also slightly red. Without thinking, moving on instinct yet again, Yosuke abandoned the joystick in his hands to reach out towards the other, moving the light hair gently out of the way and feeling Souji's forehead.

His eyes, for the first time that day, gained the attentive sparkle they usually had.

"Souji, you're as hot as hell!"

The other smiled apologetically. Although he could see Souji was pretty tired, he saw his body slouch slightly, relaxed.

The auburn haired boy decided to question things later, and made a run for the bathroom, bringing some towel and cold water he needed to contrast the fever.

* * *

"You knew you were sick but you said yes to me anyway tonight. You could have told me you needed to rest. Or did you want me to be your nurse?"

Yosuke's choice of words was void of malice or anger, just a little playful at the end of the question. The grey head knew he was glad he had agreed to see the other, yet Souji could see he was worried.

"Maybe", he smiled, and gained a joking, very light punch to his arm from a chuckling Yosuke.

Even through the sickness, Souji got serious and questioned his friend. He wasn't going to be stopped by a fever or a lack of answer. He wanted to know what was up.

"Yosuke, what's wrong?"

The addressed boy blinked, and sighed, massaging his nape with a hand. He knew he couldn't avoid it. Yet it was actually what he came there for, deep inside.

"I… don't know"

His eyes glazed over, like they had been for the whole day.

"You know… Have you ever… felt like you were inside a bubble? Like… you don't really feel, but you kind of perceive things with something in between, like a glass… I feel, but it just…"

"… it just doesn't really reach you"

Yosuke looked with partner straight in the eye, before looking away again and nodding.

"Yeah. I can't think of anything really today. I can't grasp anything, I'm… it's like my mind is in another place, far, far away…", he whispered, the words leaving his mouth slowly, as if they didn't really want to roll off his tongue just yet. His eyes were observing something, but that something wasn't there. Souji kept on staring at the other, listening, as focused as he could be with a fever.

After a while, the auburn haired boy shook his head lightly and smiled at his best friend.

"I guess I just need to calm down and get some sleep, right?"

"I know how that feels. You'll get over it soon, Yosuke. Don't worry too much"

"Yeah…"

He was about to say more, but bit a little on his lip before continuing.

!I'll watch over you 'til you fall asleep, then I'll go home. You kinda worry me, partner!", Yosuke chuckled, feeling the thoughts in his mind slowing down and actually staying there.

Souji blinked.

"You sure? You could sleep there too… I just hope you won't get the fever too…"

"That would happen only if I kissed you or drank from the same bottle or whatever" he winked, unfazed by his own jokes. While homosexuality wasn't really his cup of tea, the auburn head felt at ease enough with his best friend to pull questionable jokes without a care in the world.

"You are one hell of a depraved man, Hanamura", Souji smiled, before swallowing a pill and some water to get his fever down.

"I'm not the one talking girlish because I have a fever!"

* * *

On the futon beside Souji's, Yosuke kept his promise to watch over the grey head until he went to sleep. But as many things that revolved around his best friend and the case, he put more effort into it than in anything else, and eventually stayed awake longer and watched Souji sleep peacefully. It wasn't like Yosuke actually decided to do that. It was on instinct. And he was also doing some thinking while staring at the other's relaxed face, only half focusing.

Part of the strange sensations of that day were caused by the feeling he had been missing something. The auburn headed boy had to realize something he already knew, but that he couldn't grasp. And he felt like it had something to do with his memories and dreams. The only dream Yosuke could think of was…

That face…

Eyes widening, his breath caught in his throat. He felt his heart speed up, and he gulped before sucking in a good share of air.

When the half face in his head became a perfect one with the one in front of him, Yosuke felt an epiphany sharing the truth with his brain. Suddenly, the restless thoughts in his head came to a stop.

His jaw set again, and his lips curved in the littlest smile. A smile that was fond, and real, and felt. As he reached his hand out towards Souji's face, everything slowly made more sense.

"You know, more or less a week before you arrived" he whispered, so low he couldn't almost hear his own voice, "I dreamt someone. I… felt like that person was… someone close to me. Very close. Almost…". His hand stopped right before touching the other's hair. It twitched, but resumed its travel soon. Long fingers threaded through silky hair with the gentleness of a feather. Yosuke was feeling stupid, and weird, and happy, and understood.

"We had a bond that couldn't be broken. And it felt as if I had known that person since forever. It made me feel so happy, but also wistful…"

The auburn haired male moved to rest on his side, supporting his head with his free hand. His eyes never left Souji's face, studying it carefully, the features burning in his mind.

"Maybe what made me feel restless about it was that I felt like I was longing for someone I didn't know. But… I think I was wrong…"

While Yosuke spoke his mind in a whisper, his body just brought itself closer to the other's. His hand on Souji's head moved back to the futon, supporting its owner. He sat up a little and, just as slowly, covered the distance between his face and the other's.

His eyes closed and his lips touched Souji's lightly, chastely.

The auburn headed boy distanced himself from his best friend again, and while staring at Souji's still sleeping face, a blush made its way to his cheeks.

"… If I catch your fever I'll never be able to look you in the eye again"

* * *

Souji woke up very slowly that day. Everything felt like it was under a slow motion spell. His eyes disclosed, and a pale ice grey was revealed, still glazed over with the dreams of the night before.

He dreamt of Yosuke. Or at least, he was pretty positive it was him. He couldn't see his face. But Souji could hear his voice, the most delicate and tentative tone to it, and he talked about a dream he had… of a close person…

Souji also felt his best friend's fingers, long and gentle, combing his hair lightly, more like his focus was on feeling the texture of the hair than actually managing it. Then… he…

'I wonder why I had that dream…', he asked himself with half the worry he knew he should have felt. But id didn't bother him, not at all. What Souji actually felt was curiosity, and wonder, and a weird warmth just in the middle of his chest, pulling him definitely out of sleep-induced stupor.

Yosuke was still sleeping. His upper body was in a strange, uncomfortable-looking position, as if he had been looking over his best friend for the whole night.

His expression was one of the most peaceful possible, though. The relaxed brow, the long eyelashes casting a small shadow under his closed eyes, and his mouth, almost covered by Yosuke's arm, was in a delicate, exquisite line that suggested nothing but tranquillity.

The grey headed male was half tempted to brush the hair away a little from the other's eyes, but he was also so lost in studying that figure that he felt like it'd be a sin to touch him just now. It was a sacred, solemn moment. He wouldn't dare break it.

Pale irises rested on auburn hair for a while. Yosuke's natural colour was peculiar for a Japanese person. It had a red nuance to brown, but when its owner was under the sun light, or any light at all, it looked almost like pure liquefied gold. It was beautiful. And although Yosuke couldn't bring himself to comb them much, his locks looked soft, and endearing in their flip-out natural way.

And when Souji's attention dived to the other's face again, he saw eyes of that same warm, lovable colour beginning to open.

Yosuke blinked twice, before stretching himself out like a cat, then rolling again on the side facing his best friend.

"Mornin'"

"Morning", Souji smiled lightly, and the other felt like he had been under the hot, summer sun for an hour. It was just… so…

He adverted his eyes and observed with no interest his own fingers playing with the futon.

Yosuke was looking for the right words, Souji knew. But the look in his best friend's eyes when they locked glances again made him wonder.

"Souji… do you know… where the boats go?"

* * *

After falling asleep with still the lingering feeling of the other's lips on his, Yosuke had a dream. He remembered it well. It was that time his parents brought him to the beach when he was little, when they had also granted his wish to have a little boat trip.

He cherished the memory of the feeling of the sea wind on his face. The auburn head couldn't exactly explain why, but the salty water, the foam, the seagulls… the sea shells on the sand… it was like Yosuke was in his very own natural environment.

It was almost evening, and the sun was setting, casting beautiful colours on the water below. He was staring with open amazement at the scenery like only a child could.

Then, he noticed a boat, going towards the sun. Yosuke stared at it with intense anticipation. Would the boat battle with the sun? Would it travel on it? What if it made a hole into all that orange?

His large, bright eyes blinked twice and widened. The boat had just disappeared!

He turned towards his father, pulling a little at his parent's pant leg.

"Dad! Where do the boats go? That one has just disappeared!"

His father's face, a little seamed with wrinkles, looked far younger with the grin that suddenly appeared on it. Yosuke wondered if smiles had that magic power on everyone, and decided he'd start looking at other smiles' effects as well.

His dad's laugh made him feel a little offended but also inexplicably pleased.

"No, Yosuke, boats don't disappear", the man answered, still smiling, patting his son's head.

"So, where do they go? Neh, dad?"

The man laughed the question off, taking his son back to his mother, waiting ahead.

* * *

Souji blinked at the strange, sudden question. He felt like he was in front of the child that once Yosuke had been. He could see the innocence, the curiosity, the expectation, and much more into his eyes. They looked mildly anxious and alert. Like when Nanako asked Dojima about the weather forecast, and if the woman on television was the one deciding if it would be either sunny or cloudy the days after.

Just… he felt like there was more to it then just a child's question. There was no single layer in words and thoughts when it came to Yosuke.

Although he wasn't exactly sure about the whys and hows, Souji felt a new smile blooming on his lips, and let his hand wander to his best friend's face without thinking. His thumb followed the line of his cheekbone as if he were reproducing it with a feather on a very thin sheet of paper. Grey eyes locked with auburn ones, looking at them with a fondness that paralysed the other in his spot. Souji moved in, closer and closer to Yosuke's lips until they touched.

And suddenly, the glass broke. The auburn head was staring at the world in front of him, with nothing to prevent his senses to feel it.

The half face became full. The elegant chin, the full lips, the regal nose, and… Souji's eyes. They were warm, and his voice could be heard, speaking words that made Yosuke's heart flutter. The wind played with his grey locks, light reflecting from them in the most breath-catching of ways. His light, white shirt was waving with the breeze, and he extended his hand for his best friend to catch and hold on to.

The bubble popped, and Yosuke could see soft tinges of colour he had never noticed before.

His eyes finally closed, slowly but without hesitation. Savouring that moment to the fullest, even if it could be a fleeting instance that would never repeat.

The kiss broke slowly, almost reluctantly, and too soon their lips detached. The slightly wet feeling on soft, warm skin made both blush the lightest shade of pink.

"I think you will find the answer one day, Yosuke"

Yosuke's look was almost sheepish under the other's searching eyes. His face gradually flushed red up to his ears, Souji's hand never leaving his cheek, before moving under his chin and closing the distance again.

_Fin_

* * *

_... Yeah, I know it's weird. Please don't kill me. But you can punch me. Without too much force. Ahah. Please review and let me know your thoughts :)_

_#A._


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